The Basics | @iamdidshe
If I hear of one more man telling a woman, tweeting, or shouting her out in other media as having been the cause of her rape or assault I will personally punch his ass in the face. Yeah, this is a rant, but don’t get it twisted. This is also an investigation of ideas surrounding cause and affect as well as my own ignorance behind the argument of causality. My OpEd has been on the launching pad for several weeks if not months. And I’ve had a lifetime of teen and adult discussion on the subject. Basically, my parents raised me better than to violate another person sexually, which in return affects my opinions.
Cut the Apron String
My parents are not alone in having embedded moral values into their children. But it’s harnessed discipline to make the right choices that endorses those principles and separates the violators of family values. And for the record, violators are not gender discriminative. Parents, you must be able to discern where to draw the line between how you have raised your children and the choices your children make as individuals. A child’s choices will most often reflect your positive parenting practices, but realistically there are times they won’t. At some point you need to pick up the shears and cut the apron string for your own sanity’s sake. May I proceed?
Cause and Affect
The inspiration to post this blog came after one more added straw. Not the short straw, just another straw and I won’t get into particulars. Let’s just say I was watching The Matrix Reloaded. Remember the seen when Morpheus, Neo, and Trinity went to find the Keymaker at the restaurant? While sitting with the rich Frenchman Merovingian and his wife Persephone a very special dessert was sent to the woman two tables over. The matrix program had been designed to produce an affect caused by the woman taking an innocent bite of dessert. Typical rogue’s move if you ask me.
He’s in the Restroom
You saw the movie. Once the chocolate made its journey to the woman’s pallet a sexually explosive chain of physical reactions began taking over her body. The Merovingian argued Morpheus’ philosophy of everything beginning with choice. Dude was so stupid, oh excuse me ignorant, in his argument that he was oblivious to his role in manipulating the woman’s choice by his choice to violate her with a cyber-mickie. I see this on the streets all the time. The affect of his cause rippled far beyond being caught in the restroom with the un-expecting woman. Is it all about cause and affect?
Reloaded was only a movie, but those choices are played out in real life every day affecting relationships, children, jobs, and lives are lost be-cause the why and the reasons are gone and behaviors are out of control. I’ve been really dumb at spots on my intellectual timeline, but not recognizing that teen girls and grown women can be extremely manipulative prior to being violated is not one of my dumb spots. In my own marriage I’ve had to painstakingly assess how far to go before drawing the line between cause and affect violations. But at the end of the day I still have to be accountable for my choices as an individual. Passing the blame to someone else as being the cause for your choices just doesn’t fly in my court of love and respect.
It’s Not Cute
Guys, think before speaking. It’s just wrong to assume that one spouse must have done something to cause another spouse to cheat. I don’t care what they did passing the blame is as irresponsible as the act of messing around. And who invented, “Everybody has their extra marital affairs with someone or something.” I’m just saying, though it may bare substance . . . Stop being ignorant, it’s not cute and one does not substitute the other for disciplined choices. If you want to teach something learn this, “The problems you have plus the actions you take to resolve them equals the results you get.” This is my rant whether you feel me or not.
As always please comment and share. Understanding that each case is different am I just being ignorant to what is really going on? If you are a man or woman being abused please post service agencies that can help.
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Copyright © 2009 | LaRon A. Carter “The Guest Teacher”